7 Tips To Keep You From Punking Out On Your Goals

I’m a pretty big dreamer. As my husband always tells me, there is nothing I feel like I can’t do. I’m invincible. Little things like logic or time constraints don’t really mean much to me when it comes to a goal I really want to accomplish.

But sometimes when you dream big, you risk a lot. Which leads to self-doubt and a bit of fear. That little voice starts getting louder: Are you REALLY going to be able to pull this off? You? Really? Are you sure?

And then that leads you to thinking about ways you can back out of it. The doubts become very real.

I’m in the midst of writing my next book and it feels enormous. Trying to condense everything I want to say into book form is taking longer than expected and since I’m my own publisher, it’s easy enough to say, Eh, I tried. I’ll put this on the shelf and worry about it later. 

But I won’t do that. It’s unfair to my long-term goals for me to give into short-term frustration. So I keep pushing. And eventually, this book will be finished.

Sometimes the magnitude of what you’re trying to do seems like you’ll never be finished. But I’m here to give you some tips on pushing through.

1) Set reasonable deadlines.

The fastest way for you to want to punk out on your goals is to set unreasonable expectations for yourself. Take the time to think about what you can reasonably handle. And then set mini deadlines to help you along your path.

2) Give yourself an alter-ego.

My alter ego is Warrior Queen Princess Juicyfruit. (Don’t ask me where I got the name from.) When I have to do something I don’t want to do, I take on a whole new persona. The last time I had to bring Warrior Queen out? At the OB/GYN’s office for my annual pap. And she will be back for my IUD removal. *shudders*

3) Tell everyone about your goals. 

I’ve been telling everyone that I have a book in me and I want to be out and published by the summer. Now, all week long, I’ve got people asking me, “How’s the book coming? When is it coming out?” On those days when I’d rather be anywhere but at my keyboard, those questions are reminders that I have deadlines to hit and they don’t count if I don’t put in the work.

4) Have some reward waiting for you.

After I finish this book, I’m taking my family on vacation. Nothing too fancy but 3 days of sunshine and kicking it on the beach. It’s been YEARS since I’ve been on vacation and we’ve yet to take a “real” vacation of more than a day trip. Your reward doesn’t have to be as large. Telling yourself you can buy a new accessory could be rewarding for you or maybe that you’ll treat yourself to a movie. Whether you go big or small, having a reward in mind as you work on your goals can be extra motivation.

5) Mark your progress.

I don’t know about you but I need to see some forward movement before I feel happy about where I am. Recognize what those signs of progress are (if you’re writing a book, for example, finishing each chapter is cause for celebration!) and then pat yourself on the back for reaching them.

6) Take breaks.

Sometimes we get so hung up on a goal that we don’t realize that what we’re really doing is digging ourselves into a hole. For example, one semester in grad school, I decided I was going to take three classes, PLUS my internship. Did I mention this was the semester right after I got laid off? It was crazy to put so much on my shoulders when I was also trying to find a new job and figure out how I was going to feed my family. I ended up dropping a class and postponing my internship. My stress levels decreased and I was able to do a much better job balancing everything.

7) Make “growth” your mantra.

The only way we grow is if we try new things and stretch ourselves beyond what we think is possible. I’ve always told myself that I should see some change from year-to-year in who I am as a person. I don’t want to be 30 years old and still facing the same challenges I did when I was 20. Growth is my mantra and it helps me realize in every difficulty, there is a lesson that will make me a better person.

Now it’s your turn—what do you do to keep yourself from punking out on your goals?

11 Tips For Excelling As A Student-Parent

This post was originally published on TheYoungMommyLife.com

I’ve been in school for the past two years and it hasn’t been easy.

When I started, I had a 3-year-old and a 2-year-old at home. I was convinced that it would be better for me to go back to school when they were young, because they wouldn’t remember exactly how much time it would take me to get my degree. Who remembers much before they turned 5?

I figured if I waited until they were in elementary or middle school, it would be harder for me to explain long nights in class and why my stress levels were so high.

I’ve spent the past year and a half as a self-employed mom, which throws another wrench into things. Sure, I had flexibility and no boss to answer to about missing work. But when you have to leave evening class to come back and do more work, ugh.

I know there are a lot of us who are juggling all of these things—some of us married, others single, some with extensive support, some with none whatsoever. Some of us in two-year programs, others of us in more rigorous, multi-year programs. Today’s post is dedicated to sharing some of the tips I’ve learned over the past few years:

• Review the syllabus early. Figure out what weeks are going to be hardest for you and mark them in your calendar accordingly. You will also know if the class requires a lot of group work (which I hate!) and outside-of-class work (which I hate!).
• Talk to your professor early. I haven’t done this as much in graduate school, but it was crucial when I was an undergraduate with a newborn. All my professors knew I had an infant at home and during those times when I didn’t have someone to watch her for class, I knew if it would be okay for me to bring her or just stay home. One day, I didn’t have a babysitter so I brought her with me because it was during finals week (horrible time to not have one!). My professor bounced my daughter on her lap and then rocked her to sleep while the class took the exam. I finished first (partially fueled by my anxiety that my daughter would start fussing at any second), thanked my professor profusely and hightailed it out of there.
• Buy your textbooks (if you must) at CampusBookRentals.com. I went there last semester when I saw that ONE of my books was listed at $215. No bueno. I checked on CampusBookRentals and the book was $35. I win.
• Set aside at least one day where you will not study. Giving yourself a regular break will help you persevere over the many months of studying, test-taking, essay-writing and internships.
• If you must study with your children in the house, give them “homework” to do as well while you’re studying (if they’re old enough). I bought a stack of workbooks for my kids (get yours at the dollar store) and let them work while I work. Spread some snacks on the table, put on some music and spend an hour or so feeding your minds.
• Find ways to free up time. I recently made a “snack station” in my kitchen to cut down on how much of my day was spent getting food for my kids. Let them get themselves ready for bed and you only come up when they’ve changed themselves into pajamas. Bring your textbooks with you so you can sneak in studying while you wait at the doctor’s office, in the pick-up line at school, etc.
• Download a countdown app or mark down the days on your calendar. I check every few weeks to see how many days of this madness I have left and seeing the number continue to dwindle reminds me of how far I’ve come and how close I am to my goal.
• Make friends in your classes, particularly the ones that you find difficult. Not only will they (hopefully) be able to help you with the material, but it’ll be good for you to have someone to talk to!
• Bring your kids on campus with you. Let them see the inside of the buildings, where you have classes, let them meet your professors. If you attend a suburban campus like I do, let them run around in the grass. They think it’s a big park and a big park = fun. When your kids know where you’re going, it makes it much more real for the both of you.
• If you must bring your child to campus to meet with your professors, pack them a “busy bag.” Fill it with coloring books, crayons, flash cards, etc, to keep them occupied while you talk.
• Remember that you will not, no matter how you feel about it, be in school forever. In reality, this is a very short period of your life. Take a deep breath, smile and know that you are working to improve your life. Pat yourself on the back.

The Beginning…

 

I just got back from viewing the space where we will hold the first #YoungMomSummit. I can feel that this is going to be life-changing. I just KNOW that this is what is supposed to come next for me and so many young parents in the region.